CounselorBarb

Individual Counseling, Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy

Author Archive: counselorbarb

How To Stop Arguing About Chores!

Several studies suggest that women take on the majority of the workload in the home, even when both partners are working full-time. This is due to several factors: Women think they can “do it all” Women are often more particular than men about cleanliness Women think men are going to screw it up Women feel …

Continue reading

Pornography: Is It Good Or Bad?

Not an easy question!  Is it good or bad? Is it causing harm to couples? Is it cheating? First, let’s tackle the “good or bad” question. It can be both! Why It’s Bad From my reading, it seems that excessive porn use outside of an intimate relationship seems to be bad for three main reasons: …

Continue reading

Sexual Resource List – Updated!

GENERAL The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction (http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/index.html): No list would be complete without this classic. Founded by pioneer sexologist Alfred Kinsey, the Kinsey Institute supports interdiscipinary research in the study of human sexuality. Kinsey Confidential™ (http://www.kinseyconfidential.org): a sexuality information service designed by The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, …

Continue reading

Sexual Communication Tips

Sex is one of the most difficult topics for couples to discuss. Yet, good sexual communication will not only enhance your love life, it will enhance your relationship! Having trouble talking about sex? You aren’t alone. Common Obstacles: The belief that talking about sex is vulgar. The fix: Vulgarity is in the eye of the …

Continue reading

The Dangers of Valium and Xanax

There are many things you can try before relying on benzodiazepines to treat your anxiety: psychotherapy, exercise, acupuncture and hypnosis. Psychotherapy in particular, can be a very effective way of addressing your anxiety. So, rather than immediately turn to a pill that can be addictive, why not try some of these other methods first? Below …

Continue reading

10 Steps to Good Self Care

THE PHYSICAL 1. Have a balanced diet; avoid tobacco and processed foods; avoid excessive alcohol or caffeine consumption. – Maintain your weight at a level that is healthy and feels good to you. 2. Exercise 3 – 5 times per week, both aerobically and with weights. 3. Get adequate sleep and rest. The amount differs …

Continue reading

Recommended Sexual Information Websites

GENERAL • The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction (http://www.indiana.edu/~kinsey/index.html): No list would be complete without this classic. Founded by pioneer sexologist Alfred Kinsey, the Kinsey Institute supports interdiscipinary research in the study of human sexuality. • Dr. Ruth (http://www.drruth.com): this site is sponsored by one of the most widely-known sexual experts, …

Continue reading

10 Ways To Excellent Couples Communication

Be a good listener. Focus on what your partner is saying, and then repeat it back to them to assure them it was heard correctly. Be interested in your partner. Try to understand them and learn what makes them tick. Be tolerant of differences and learn to compromise. You don’t need to agree on everything; …

Continue reading

Women: 15 Ways To Turn Yourself On

1)     Stay in the moment. Women’s sexuality is much more influenced by stress and over-work as compared to men’s. Many times we are filling out our to-do lists in our head while we are lying in bed or becoming romantic with our partner. It’s impossible to be fully in the moment when you’re going over …

Continue reading

Men: Read This Before You Lose Your Woman Forever

unhappy_couple

OK…sorry, I had to scare you to get your attention. Yes, I am talking to you. The one who withdraws and tunes out whenever your partner starts complaining about the relationship, or God forbid, “wants to talk.” Do that enough times and eventually your woman will stop asking for counseling and start consulting divorce lawyers. …

Continue reading

Successful New Year’s Resolutions: What You Need To Know Today

It’s that time of year again. It seems everywhere I turn I hear something about “New Year’s resolutions.” Sounds great, right? Combining the words “new” and “resolution” sounds so positive, what’s not to love? Well, let me tell you. The Problem Each year people create lofty goals they will probably fail to accomplish. Why? Well, …

Continue reading

14 Essential Steps To Building Self Esteem

So many times in my office I hear about low self-esteem.  When I was reading one of Tara Richter’s books, 10 Rules To Survive The Internet Dating Jungle, I ran across a very interesting list of creative ways to increase self-esteem.  After looking up the original source online, I then added my own thoughts to …

Continue reading

ED and the MD

Last night I was on the radio with a certain MD that specializes in men’s sexual health. In this post, he will be referred to as “Dr. X.” As is typical of me, I speak my mind even when it goes against what another professional may be saying. And, I tend to become more passionate …

Continue reading

Keeping Secrets in Couples Therapy

Every couples therapist has to decide whether or not to incorporate individual sessions. Whereas there are many benefits to doing so, such as gathering information more quickly and thoroughly, special consideration must be given to confidentiality. Specifically, how should a couples therapist handle a secret? What if one partner tells the therapist something in confidence …

Continue reading

Ladies: Feed Your Sexy!

Eating healthy food can do so much for your health, including your sex life! Ladies, remember, the healthier you are, the better you will feel, including energy for a GREAT sex life! In another great post from my friend and colleague, Joy Rupe, Certified Diet Manager, we will learn about all the veggies and other …

Continue reading

Ladies: How Chicken Can Hurt Your Sex Life

If you’ve looked at my website and have ever been a client of mine, you know how I feel about the connection between physical and mental health. The mind is connected to the body, and what is bad for the body is generally bad for the mind. When someone comes to me for help with …

Continue reading

Men: Top Three Ways To Improve Your Sex Life and Golf Game

Men hate going to the doctor. Why? Who knows. I can’t get any man to talk long enough about it to get the answer. Yet men, on average, live 5 years less than women. Theories abound as to the reasons, such as men avoiding health checkups and ignoring small signs that become big problems later. …

Continue reading

APA Finds Therapy Effective!

The American Psychological Association (APA) has recently found therapy to be effective, reducing health care costs and improving people’s long-term health. The APA reviewed 50 peer-reviewed studies on psychotherapy and issued a resolution. Key findings include: Psychotherapy is effective for a variety of mental conditions Psychotherapy is effective for many different types of people (ie. …

Continue reading

Erectile Dysfunction: What Everyone (Male or Female) Needs To Know

Erectile Dysfunction…it’s that sensitive subject that nobody really wants to discuss. It’s the elephant in the room. You know it’s there, but it makes you really uncomfortable and you figure if you ignore it, it will go away. Well, that’s why I’m here. I specialize in discussing topics nobody wants to talk about. My reward …

Continue reading

How To Handle The Office Bully

Corporations have come a long way in developing policies for dealing with sexual harassment. But what about office bullies? Isn’t that also a form of harassment? Similarly to sexual harassment, office bullying can create a hostile work environment that not only makes it difficult for people to function, but also has a detrimental effect on …

Continue reading