CounselorBarb

Individual Counseling, Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy
unhappy_couple

Men: Read This Before You Lose Your Woman Forever

OK…sorry, I had to scare you to get your attention. Yes, I am talking to you. The one who withdraws and tunes out whenever your partner starts complaining about the relationship, or God forbid, “wants to talk.” Do that enough times and eventually your woman will stop asking for counseling and start consulting divorce lawyers. And then it will be too late.

I’ve seen it so many times. It’s very painful to watch. The man sitting on the couch, begging and pleading his wife/girlfriend for another chance, ready to change, wanting to change, finally listening to the litany of complaints his partner has been lobbing at him for the past year. And the woman…ambivalent at best. Wanting on one hand to try to save the relationship, especially if there are kids or economic considerations involved, but on the other knowing their hearts just aren’t in it anymore.

At worst, the woman has moved on emotionally. They have run out of hope, of emotional energy. They simply cannot bear to be hurt again, for their feelings to be ignored and invalidated. In short, they are done. I have found once women get to this point, there is usually little to no hope for the relationship. Yes, the man makes changes. But he’s done this before and it hasn’t lasted. The woman is afraid to trust that he has truly changed and remains very guarded. And while the woman remains guarded, frankly there isn’t much hope for progress.

So, men, I am begging you to PLEASE listen to your wife/girlfriend. Try to resolve your conflicts. If you cannot, please come to therapy before it’s too late. If you are in the early stages of relationship discontent, I have a better chance of helping you. So please fix the problem before your wife/girlfriend checks out and you are all alone.

Your passion is my passion,

Dr. Barb LoFrisco

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