Category Archives: Relationships
How To Stop Arguing About Chores!
Several studies suggest that women take on the majority of the workload in the home, even when both partners are working full-time. This is due to several factors: Women think they can “do it all” Women are often more particular than men about cleanliness Women think men are going to screw it up Women feel …
Pornography: Is It Good Or Bad?
Not an easy question! Is it good or bad? Is it causing harm to couples? Is it cheating? First, let’s tackle the “good or bad” question. It can be both! Why It’s Bad From my reading, it seems that excessive porn use outside of an intimate relationship seems to be bad for three main reasons: …
10 Ways To Excellent Couples Communication
Be a good listener. Focus on what your partner is saying, and then repeat it back to them to assure them it was heard correctly. Be interested in your partner. Try to understand them and learn what makes them tick. Be tolerant of differences and learn to compromise. You don’t need to agree on everything; …
Women: 15 Ways To Turn Yourself On
1) Stay in the moment. Women’s sexuality is much more influenced by stress and over-work as compared to men’s. Many times we are filling out our to-do lists in our head while we are lying in bed or becoming romantic with our partner. It’s impossible to be fully in the moment when you’re going over …
Men: Read This Before You Lose Your Woman Forever
OK…sorry, I had to scare you to get your attention. Yes, I am talking to you. The one who withdraws and tunes out whenever your partner starts complaining about the relationship, or God forbid, “wants to talk.” Do that enough times and eventually your woman will stop asking for counseling and start consulting divorce lawyers. …
Keeping Secrets in Couples Therapy
Every couples therapist has to decide whether or not to incorporate individual sessions. Whereas there are many benefits to doing so, such as gathering information more quickly and thoroughly, special consideration must be given to confidentiality. Specifically, how should a couples therapist handle a secret? What if one partner tells the therapist something in confidence …
Erectile Dysfunction: What Everyone (Male or Female) Needs To Know
Erectile Dysfunction…it’s that sensitive subject that nobody really wants to discuss. It’s the elephant in the room. You know it’s there, but it makes you really uncomfortable and you figure if you ignore it, it will go away. Well, that’s why I’m here. I specialize in discussing topics nobody wants to talk about. My reward …
Character Trait Or Conflict Avoidant?
You’re partner is running late again. Despite all of your best efforts to get him or her out of the door, once again you will be late for dinner at your Mom’s house. It’s funny how your partner is on time for other things, such as meeting up with friends… Do you have a partner whose behavior …
Cyber Affairs: Yes! It’s Cheating
Facebook is a wonderful thing. With 845 million active monthly users, it’s also a very popular thing. But danger lurks behind the fun logo. Many of us are one “friend request” away from an online affair. Yes, it seems quite innocent at first. Oh look! There’s an old friend from high school! I think I’ll …
How To Suffocate Your Partner
I need space! Who here has never heard that and panicked? We immediately think it means that the person doesn’t want us anymore. But we couldn’t be more wrong. People have differing needs for space. Some people love being with their partners all of the time. Others are quite happy being apart for long stretches. …
The Stealth Killer Of Relationships: Emotional Affairs
Yes, having an emotional affair is cheating! Some may argue that emotional affairs aren’t as bad as physical affairs, but I think that depends on your perspective. What is an “emotional affair”, you ask? Well, the answer may surprise you. A emotional affair is anytime that you take intimacy out of your relationship by sharing …
How ADD Can Destroy Relationships
ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, and it’s cousin, ADHD, Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder, can wreak havoc on intimate relationships. We read a lot about how ADD or ADHD affects people, but we don’t get to read a lot about how it affects relationships. And we should. Being married to someone with ADD is sort of …
Why Being Perfect Isn’t Great
We think of the word “perfect”, and we think of the optimum, the ultimate, the absolute best. So, it follows that when we think of “perfectionists” we think of high achievers, high performers…you know, successful people. Nobody thinks of perfectionism as negative. But it is. Perfectionists exhibit many self-defeating behaviors. They think that unless they …
50 Shades of Grey or Shifty Plays of Lay?
I just finished reading the trilogy “50 Shades of Grey.” And I’ve got issues. Not about the dominant/submissive sexual practices. Nope. I’ve got issues about how they have portrayed “vanilla sex.” There are several problems with how regular sex is portrayed in the novels, the results of which I fear will make women and men …
Top Three Reasons To Be An Introvert
We all have this impression that somehow extraverts are more successful and socially desirable as introverts. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing this. Why are we judging the relative worth of a person based on a personality trait? Introversion is not a mental illness, so why are we treating it as something to “fix”? I’m going …
Stop Fighting About Money
It’s common knowledge that the top two things couples fight about are money and sex. Well, this post isn’t about sex…sorry! Money is a topic that can cause trouble for even the most well-adjusted couples. So many of us have emotional issues about money we aren’t even aware of, and these can rear their ugly …
How To Nag Successfully
According to a recent study from the University of Southern California, men shut down emotionally when arguing with their significant other. Any wife or long-term girlfriend will tell you they didn’t need a study to tell them this. But, what is newly discovered is that when men are under stress, the regions of the brain …
Can Spending Money Really Make You Happy?
Can spending money really make you happy? Ask any woman, and of course…well, you know the answer. Shoes, lipstick, a new outfit. It’s in our DNA. Ask any man, and…well, you know. He’ll reflexively check his wallet. But can buying things really make us happy? Well…sort of. If we are purchasing an experience rather than a material …
Can You Go to Couples Therapy Alone?
What if you’re having marriage problems and your husband doesn’t want to go to therapy? Can you go to couples therapy alone? According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, yes you should! Couples therapy is very effective for relationship problems because both partners have the opportunity to understand the dysfunctional patterns and dynamics of …
Trusting Your Gut
I had an interesting experience yesterday I would like to share. Like women do every day in the U.S., I made an appointment to talk to a new hairstylist. I was considering switching, and wanted to talk with the new one before doing so. Within five minutes, I began to feel odd. Uncomfortable. Almost surreal. …
CounselorBarb 