CounselorBarb

Individual Counseling, Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy

Category Archives: Inspirational

10 Steps to Good Self Care

THE PHYSICAL 1. Have a balanced diet; avoid tobacco and processed foods; avoid excessive alcohol or caffeine consumption. – Maintain your weight at a level that is healthy and feels good to you. 2. Exercise 3 – 5 times per week, both aerobically and with weights. 3. Get adequate sleep and rest. The amount differs …

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Successful New Year’s Resolutions: What You Need To Know Today

It’s that time of year again. It seems everywhere I turn I hear something about “New Year’s resolutions.” Sounds great, right? Combining the words “new” and “resolution” sounds so positive, what’s not to love? Well, let me tell you. The Problem Each year people create lofty goals they will probably fail to accomplish. Why? Well, …

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14 Essential Steps To Building Self Esteem

So many times in my office I hear about low self-esteem.  When I was reading one of Tara Richter’s books, 10 Rules To Survive The Internet Dating Jungle, I ran across a very interesting list of creative ways to increase self-esteem.  After looking up the original source online, I then added my own thoughts to …

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You May Be The Exception

The other day in spin class, after yelling at the class to go faster and push harder, the instructor removed her mike, slid up to my bike and told me to slow down a bit, you’re working too hard. Huh? She was just telling us to keep it up, push harder. Now she’s telling me, just me, …

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Why Being Perfect Isn’t Great

We think of the word “perfect”, and we think of the optimum, the ultimate, the absolute best. So, it follows that when we think of “perfectionists” we think of high achievers, high performers…you know, successful people. Nobody thinks of perfectionism as negative. But it is. Perfectionists exhibit many self-defeating behaviors. They think that unless they …

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Top Three Reasons To Be An Introvert

We all have this impression that somehow extraverts are more successful and socially desirable as introverts. Frankly, I’m tired of hearing this. Why are we judging the relative worth of a person based on a personality trait? Introversion is not a mental illness, so why are we treating it as something to “fix”? I’m going …

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Stop Holding Yourself Back: Defeat Self-Defeating Thinking

We become what we think.  We all tend to internalize negative messages we receive, whether they are from our parents, friends, or romantic partners.  These messages may have been explicitly spoken, or merely communicated through actions, or even inactions.  We are often unaware of the degree to which we have internalized these negative thoughts.  What …

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Are You Afraid Of Success?

Sounds like a crazy question, right?  I mean, everyone wants to be successful, right?  Yet, you might be your own biggest obstacle. We may say that we want to be as successful as possible, but is this really true? Do we really believe we are deserving of success? I mean, so many other people have …

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Building Trust: Don’t Be A Flake

As I sat recently in a restaurant waiting for an acquaintance to show up, I began to think about what it means to be reliable. And, as with most painful or interesting situations in my life, I attempt to make meaning out of it by turning it into a blog post. Or, more specifically, my …

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How You May Be Your Own Worst Enemy By Saying “Yes”

The secret of success is saying “yes.” How many times have you heard that?  “Yes” is positive. “No” is negative. When we think of successful people, we think of people who say “yes.” Go-getters. Ambitious. Action oriented. Busy. But, busy with what is the question here. Running around like crazy doing things that don’t directly contribute …

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Stop Putting Things Off: The Negative Effects of Procrastination

I’ve been trying to write this blog entry for about a week, but…I keep putting it off. Each time I look at my computer, there it is, the empty file titled “Procrastination blog entry.” Mocking me. Taunting me. Sapping my energy in ways that don’t feel immediately obvious.  See, each time I saw that file …

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Experience: The New Way to Happiness

Sunday’s St. Petersburg Times contained a very interesting article titled “Living, not buying, is what matters.”  Did you read it?  If not, or even if you did, here is my take. The article profiled a couple who lived for their stuff.  They were in jobs they hated so they could make payments on the debt …

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Climbing the Mountain of Life

Recently I was fortunate enough to find myself at the base of a mountain in Southern Utah.  You may have heard of it: Angel’s Landing in Zion National Park.  Breathtakingly beautiful.  The weather was clear and bright with temperatures at a very comfortable 70 degrees. The wonderful outside air was an ironic contrast to the …

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