Individual Counseling, Couples Counseling and Sex Therapy

How You May Be Your Own Worst Enemy By Saying “Yes”

The secret of success is saying “yes.” How many times have you heard that? anxiety, depression, coping skills, mental health

“Yes” is positive. “No” is negative. When we think of successful people, we think of people who say “yes.” Go-getters. Ambitious. Action oriented. Busy.

But, busy with what is the question here. Running around like crazy doing things that don’t directly contribute to your own goals isn’t being successful. It’s just being busy. And being busy for busy’s sake is more of a statement of how you want to look to other people than it is about meeting your own goals.

So how do we get so caught up in other people’s agendas? Our egos. Without getting into a lot of pscyho-babble about why, we often let our own egos get in the way of success. Huh? You say. I thought egos were good for success. A requirement, even.

Well, not when they dictate your priorities. It can be very flattering to be asked to speak at public events, co-author books or articles, or volunteer for whatever board position happens to be open. It means people want you, you are important, and the center of action! Right? Well, no. Just because someone wants you for something it doesn’t mean that actually doing that thing will make you a better person. The only guaranteed result is that you will make the requestor happy because his or her life just got easier. Does this sound like the road to success to you? I didn’t think so.

So, the next time you are oh-so flattered that someone asked you to do something, no matter how prestigious it may sound, please take the time to reflect if this new obligation fits in with your own priorities. If it doesn’t, say “no.” Because “no” is really the path to success no matter what else you have read. It’s only by saying “no” to the things you don’t really want that you can say “yes” to the things you do. And that is success.

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