CounselorBarb

Individual, Couples and Sexual Issues Counseling

How ADD Can Destroy Relationships

ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, and it’s cousin, ADHD, Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder, can wreak havoc on intimate individual therapy, couples therapy, relationship therapyrelationships. We read a lot about how ADD or ADHD affects people, but we don’t get to read a lot about how it affects relationships. And we should.

Being married to someone with ADD is sort of like being on a wild roller coaster. It is super fun for the first five minutes, but quickly becomes dizzying and exhausting. Because people with ADD have a hard time focusing, and require lots of stimulation, they are constantly on the go and tend to exhibit impulsive behavior.

In order to maintain balance in the relationship, the partner must become extra-responsible. The partner with the ADD will probably start referring to them as “controlling” or “no fun.” Unfortunately, the non-ADD partner has to act this way in order to keep the household and family running smoothly. It’s not that they aren’t fun anymore, it’s that they feel like they can’t be. Worsening the situation, the non-ADD partner can feel ignored while the person with ADD is either off seeking stimulation or becomes extremely focused on a project. Resentments can build.

For more information on this topic, please read this article from the N.Y. Times and visit adhdmarriage.com.

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